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>Airlines>
>Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
>captain:"Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into
>the ocean".
>The passengers were
>obviously very worried about this situation but were
>somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
>"Ladies and
>Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an
>emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating
>so that
>all the non-swimmers are on
>the left side of the plane and all the
>swimmers are on the right side of the
>plane.
>After this announcement
>all the passengers rearranged their seating to
>comply with the captain's
>request.
>Two minutes later the
>captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The
>captain once again made an
>announcement:
>"Ladies and
>Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the
>swimmers on the right side of the plane open your emergency
>exits and
>quickly swim away from
>the plane.
>For all of the
>non-swimmers on the left side of plane... -Thank You
>for
>Flying Lufthansa-
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>Delta
>Airlines
>At the airport for a
>trip, I settled down to wait for the
>boarding
>announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public
>address
>system
>saying,
>"We apologize for the
>inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board
>from Gate 41."
>So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to
>Gate 41.
>Not ten minutes later
>the public address voice told us that Flight 570
>would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered
>our
>carry-on luggage and returned to
>the original gate.
>Just as we
>were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank
>You
>for participating in Delta's
>physical fitness program."
>
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>British Airways
>"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd
>like to
>welcome you aboard British
>Airways flight 602 from New York to London .
>We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway
>across the
>Atlantic."
>"If you
>look out of the windows on the starboard side of the
>aircraft,
>you will observe that both
>the starboard engines are on fire.
>"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will
>observe that
>the port wing has
>fallen off."
>"If you look down
>towards the Atlantic Ocean , you will see a little
>yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
>That's me your
>captain, the
>co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a
>recorded message."
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